About Me

Friday, August 26, 2016

MAMA DIDN'T RAISE A FOOL


I LOST IT!   It’s gone.   I was so upset I refused to look for it.
However, If I did not find it, my family would be in dire need of emotional repair.

What did I lose?   What is this thing that could bring pain and destruction to my family?




My temper… My Self Control. ….my mind!

  I pray you will continue to read this knowing that I am a flawed follower of Christ.  
I crush the fruit of the spirit because I want my own way.
 I  long to react to every defiant answer from my child, or flippant remark from a loved one, with a gentle answer;
Even when they don’t.

Our family verse is
  “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1


  So why did I lose it this morning?  Why did I yell?  
I asked my son three times to brush his teeth. His reply,
"Not right now."
"You're  going to be late for school."
"Just one more minute." he said as he turned the tv louder.
"NO, NOW!"
I shut the TV off mid-show. "No more TV before school."
He stormed out of the room, brushed his teeth and left for the bus stop.

I felt horrible.
I searched my Bible for verses on anger,


“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:9
A FOOL!
 I don’t want to be a fool anymore.

Wait!   The verse says “resides in the lap of fools”,

There still may be hope for me after all.
The Hebrew word for “resides” is


  nuwach  -    which means  rest, settle down, remain.        

Anger does not need to remain. 


I visualized the anger falling from my lap crashing to the floor.
 I need to stand.
Stand up against foolishness. My foolishness.


So how do I stop acting like a fool?
Anger goes deep. Getting to its root is vital for change.


My friend, Cecil Murphy, describes it this way”


.
I get angry when my son does not act as I expect .
I get angry when no one listens to me.
Lord, I expect respect, is that too much to ask?
I continued my prayer with Psalm 139:23-24


“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.’ Psalm 139:23-24
God revealed my sin to me.  That morning my anger was seeded in unmet expectations. 
I expect my son to behave and respect my request every time. When he disobeyed, I resorted to screaming. Instead, I needed to be firm with my words and give consequences.  

I endured verbal wrath from my biological father. I don't want to parent like him.

I am glad God doesn't treat me like I treated my son that morning. 
When my son returned home, I asked for forgiveness. 
God and I are still working on my unbalanced expectations.
Next week I will go deeper into what He's teaching me.
What makes you angry?

Join the conversation.






Friday, August 19, 2016

WHEN ADHD MEETS DISCIPLINE

“STOP!” I screamed as I grew more frustrated.  “I can’t focus! How am I going to get this book done?"
 I have ADHD.   I did not realize I had it until my son was diagnosed with it 10 years ago.  
Finally, I had an answer to my fidgeting, lack of concentration, unfinished projects (Tweet this)
and my urge to blurt things out during a conversation because I'm afraid the words will escape me.
 I knew I needed focus and discipline to finish the book.

   What happens when ADHD meets discipline?  I liken my thoughts to a squirrel scrambling to collect nuts.  There are so many that he stops in his tracks.  “Which way do I go?”  “Which nut do I focus on first?  Which one is the biggest?"
  I am that squirrel, with  a hundred  thoughts flashing around in my brain.  What chapter to I focus on today?   What will touch the reader’s heart?  What Bible verses do I use?  LUNCH!

“Lord, I need your help!”  I knew God would not call me to write and then leave me scurrying about gathering up words that don’t make sense.
Image result for SQUIRREL My biggest problem is finishing a task.   I continued to pray.
 A friend of mine mentioned a Discipleship Counseling Course that he completed through Eternity College.  The course was free.   I like free.   I signed up and found myself with ten hours of homework each week.  Homework that would change my life forever.
 We had to complete the book, “You Can Change” by Tim Chester.  The book states to pick one thing you want God to help you change. I chose Procrastination.  Working through the book helped me figure out why I procrastinate.  It is not just ADHD.  I lost that excuse.
It is disobedience. I know God called me to write. 
I can’t blame the squirrel for everything.  I searched the scriptures. and the next verse became my marching orders.
   
  “Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it, according to your means.”
 2 Corinthians 8:11

I try to apply this verse daily, trusting God will keep His promise from the Scripture.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me Philippians 4:13

I made a schedule and follow it.  This keeps me focused.
Squirrels still invade my day, I have even chased a few but God gently reminds me to focus. 
Instead of chasing them I try to learn from them.
 They chase each other up and down trees, scurry across the yard, hang from the bird feeder, and gather nuts like it is a relay race.  Seems like a bunch of craziness to me. However, their work gets accomplished and they have fun while doing it.

I accept my ADHD and give God the glory for using this squirrel chaser to further His Kingdom.(tweet this)
Do you chase squirrels? What distracts you?
Join the conversation.

Friday, August 12, 2016

NEED PATIENCE NOW?

"I have no patience when it comes to you fooling around, I told you to clean this room," I said to my then five-year-old son as he sat on his bed.  
"I don't know where to put my books; I don't remember where anything goes," he said as his body shook and tears wet his favorite cowboy shirt.
The Holy Spirit reminded me that I am to teach and guide; not to expect my son to know the task after showing him one time. 
Now who was the foolish one? 
I apologized and prayed  THE PRAYER for both myself and my son.
Oh to have God's love sweep the cluttered rooms of my heart, (Tweet this)
filling each shelf with patience, kindness, and joy.
 There would be fewer tears and more understanding in my life.

I pray THE PRAYER daily. I have seen changes in those I bring before the throne.  I admit I was surprised at how soon it occurred.
Those I prayed for seem happier like a burden had lifted from them.  Thank you, Lord.
However, mild depression clouded my heart.  I did not pray daily for myself.  Silly me.  
The cloud lifted when I began to include myself in prayer. 
Let's continue to look at THE PRAYER

"Your love that is patient and kind; love that does not envy, boast, is not arrogant or rude. Love that does not insist on its own way, not irritable or resentful." 
 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (adaptation) 

All definitions are adapted from Blue Letter Bible  ESV version.
Patient- makrothymeō: to be long-spirited, longsuffering, endure, slow to anger, and slow to punish

Kind- chrēsteuomai: to show oneself useful, act benevolently.

Envy- zēloō:  to have the warmth of feeling for or against, affect, covet, be jealous over.

Boast- perpereuomai: a self-display, employing rhetorical embellishments in extolling one's self excessively, brag

Arrogant- physioō: to be puffed up, to bear one's self loftily, be proud

Rude- aschēmoneō: to act unbecomingly (not according to standard)

God's love toward us reveals itself in this prayer.  If you struggle with self-loathing, bitterness, anger or any sin, put your name in the prayer.

Your love that is patient and kind with Cherrilynn...not rude, irritable or resentful toward Cherrilynn.

Prayer helped me to love others as I accepted God's love for me. He gives me the power to love and be loved.




and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:5








Knowing that I have God's love in me gave me hope. 
 I can
 love the unlovable,
 forgive the unforgivable,
 and pray for what seems to be a hopeless situation.
The living Word of God has gone deep into my bitter soul and eradicated the hate and replaced it with love.  (Click to tweet)
I'm shedding my rude, arrogant behavior and replacing it with kindness and patience.
Is there someone you need to love more? Someone who has violated you, hurt you, lied to you or slandered you?"
Will you join me in aligning our hearts with the heart of God?
God wants us free from the burdens of bitterness, guilt, anger and pain.
Let's leave bitterness and anger behind.
We no longer need to be jealous when someone gets the job, car, or relationship we want.  We will be happy for them because we love them with the love of God.


This will happen when we pray THE PRAYER.

What do you struggle with?  
Join the conversation.

Friday, August 5, 2016

I PUT THE "PRO" IN PROCRASTINATE

I procrastinate.   I don't know why I put things off.  Maybe it is because I have a fear of failure or I am just plain lazy. 
Clutter overtook my workspace, a good excuse not to write.  
My son needs me, another good reason.
Excuses hindered the progress of my book.
I knew God called me to write it.
People invested time and money to help publish my work, so I had to do something about this procrastination.

I researched potential reasons for my inability to complete this task. 
Fear of failure
Perfectionism
Lack of Reward
The list goes on.

I could blame my behavior on the abuse from my father or other childhood events.  (My research  proves this theory)
The biggest thing I have learned about procrastination when it comes to obeying God,
Procrastination is a sin.  There, I said it.  Now, if I only could put off this guilty feeling.

After many days of prayer, self-examination, and study of the Scripture, procrastination began to release it's ugly grip on me and peace calmed the raging sea of guilt.

 I now claim this Bible verse every morning.
It is my marching orders from God.

Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it, according to your means. 2 Corinthians 8:11 NIV

God is good to teach us from the Word.

I think of the ten virgins with oil lamps.  Five had oil and five procrastinated and did not get oil.  They were called foolish and missed the life changing event. You can read the story HERE


The outcome of those who waited was tragic (Tweet This)


On the opposite end of the spectrum, King Solomon built a Temple for the Lord. It took 20 years. His patience and dedication are recorded in 1 Kings


Thus, all the work that King Solomon did on the house of the LORD was finished.  1 Kings 
7:51

Finished.  That is a word that most procrastinators long to hear.


I repented of my sin.  I remind myself daily that God loves me, He is patient with me, and gives me everything I need for life and godliness. 

 His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, 2 Peter 1:3 NIV.

God gives me the power to do it.  How can I fail with the Creator of the Universe on my side! 
If we move forward with God's purpose, we no longer need to procrastinate (tweet this)
 Do you procrastinate? 
Join in the conversation.   

Thursday, July 28, 2016

MY BIRTHDAY CHALLENGE

How do you celebrate your birthday? 
 I love parties with friends and family.  I admit, I love the gifts too.   
My birthday was my day.  A special day set aside just for me.  
Something changed on my 45th birthday.   
We lived in NH.  My husband was out of work, money was tight.  My husband was sad because he could not get me a birthday present.  We rarely exchange gifts anyway.  I had a long talk with God about this whole gift giving idea.  

A person should never feel pressured to give a gift.(Tweet This)

I continued my conversation with my Abba as I drove to the grocery store.  
While in line, I noticed the woman in front of me as she fumbled through her purse. She did not have enough money and looked embarrassed.  
I've been in that same situation. I usually put items back.
"Here, take this."  
I handed a ten dollar bill to the young man at the cash register, knowing I could not afford to.
"No! I can just put the ice cream back." the woman said without making eye contact.
"Not the ice cream,  it's my birthday today, the best present I could get is to buy Ice Cream for someone else."  The words came out before I could stop them.
"Happy Birthday!"  The young man at the register and the woman said in unison.
"Thank you!  Now, you would not want to deny me this present on my birthday would you?"
I loved the confused looks on both of their faces as the woman walked away, with her groceries, including the ice cream.
I purchased my groceries and headed home. 
Joy filled my heart and I thanked God for the wonderful Birthday gift.
I shared the story with my husband and son.
"From now on I am going to give on my birthday.  The gift I get in return is far more precious than anything money can buy!"
I rarely tell anyone that I do this.  I am not trying to promote myself or get an atta girl.
But, how can I keep such a wonderful blessing from you?
I want to challenge you to give on your birthday. 

'remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Acts 20:35 (ESV)

Don't tell anyone that you are doing it.  See how God blesses you for it.

I know many of you already give to the poor and needy.  God sees that.  
Will you go one step further? 
Will you join me and give on a day people least expect you to? I would love to hear about it. All the Glory goes to God!

Join the conversation.



Friday, July 22, 2016

IS THE YOKE ON YOU?

I'm  anxious to complete the edits for my first book. As a new writer, I have much to learn. I feel inadequate. Fear sets in.
Will I finish, will it be good, will I disappoint my editor?
I get grumpy and my family suffers.
"Dad, don't talk to mom she's not in a good mood today." My son noticed my change in attitude.
I prayed.
Why am I so anxious, you called me to write. Help me figure this out, Lord.  
Life doesn't stop when I edit.
My sister was in a hit and run accident resulting in a hairline fracture in her neck. She must wear a neck brace for six weeks. I'm her chauffeur and caretaker.
One Sunday morning I drove us to her church.
I heard a sermon on freedom.
Her pastor said.
 "Freedom is only found when yoked to Jesus." (Click to Tweet)

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Mathew 11:28-30


Pastor George continued.


"Being yoked to someone or something is to be coupled with them. Farmers often yoked oxen to an older, stronger, more experienced animal which bore the burden and guided the young animal through the learning process."

That's why I'm anxious and cranky I'm not yoked to Jesus, I said to myself.

I prayed, Jesus help me cast my cares on you. Help me stay yoked to you and not run ahead.

My sisters broken neck led me to the answer. She was in a neck brace to relieve her pressure; I needed Jesus' yoke  to free me from my anxiety.

Now before my feet hit the floor I pray, Jesus I am yoked to you, whatever comes our way, (especially writing)  I will learn from you and let you guide me.


My angst for editing has dissipated.  
I still have much to learn about editing but I have the best partner to lead me. 

Are you yoked to Jesus today?
Join the conversation.


Friday, July 8, 2016

AGREE TO DISAGREE

You actually believe you don't have to be baptized in water to be saved? John said to me as our classmates at Combat Camera School gathered around us.
I believe we get the Spirit at the moment of salvation, I said.
You have to be baptized in water to get the Holy Spirit! He continued. Now the entire class listened.
 I was uncomfortable discussing doctrine in front of non-believers.
If you two Christians cannot agree why would we even want to listen to you about God? Steven, another classmate, said, as he walked away.
My heart sank.  John kept talking. 
 You have to be baptized in water to be saved!
I remained silent.
I excused myself and John followed me down the hall to continue the discussion.
A few others followed behind John.  They didn't want to miss the show.
John, I whispered.  We shouldn't discuss this in front of everyone.
John interrupted me, Why not? You know I am right! 
The followers smirked and whispered to one another.
John's brow furrowed as I kept silent.
Do you argue with fellow believers just to prove your doctrinal point? 
 I have.  At the time it made me feel powerful and intelligent. 
The Apostle Paul encouraged the believer at Phillipi to be united in Christ.
 Do everything without grumbling or arguing  Philippians 2:14

Let me be clear; I am not arguing the point of water baptism here. 
I am concerned about the way we as believers discuss our views on Bible Doctrine. 

I have heard pastors preach hate from the pulpit toward those who do not have the same beliefs.

I have seen written personal attacks on Facebook when one believer doesn't agree with another's doctrine.
My heart breaks. What happened to respect and love? 

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen Ephesians 4:29

Why would anyone want to join us in the family of God if we can't reason together in love? (tweet this)   
I know, for me, I was afraid to be wrong.  How prideful of me. 
 I had to ask myself,  Do I have to be right or can I listen to another's belief and learn something?
Not one of us has a complete grasp of the Bible.
 I have seen views change, including my own, after taking the time to study the Scriptures.

Each of us is at a different point in our walk with God.
We can agree to disagree. The most loving families don't agree on everything. 

In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; and in 
all things, charity. - historically attributed to Augustine



After a few one on one conversations with John, we agreed to disagree.  We apologized to the class for being rude.  A few classmates came to us and thanked us.  We were able to share Jesus with them.
Isn't that what it is all about?
Have you argued over doctrines of the Bible? 
Please join the discussion.