About Me

Friday, August 26, 2016

MAMA DIDN'T RAISE A FOOL


I LOST IT!   It’s gone.   I was so upset I refused to look for it.
However, If I did not find it, my family would be in dire need of emotional repair.

What did I lose?   What is this thing that could bring pain and destruction to my family?




My temper… My Self Control. ….my mind!

  I pray you will continue to read this knowing that I am a flawed follower of Christ.  
I crush the fruit of the spirit because I want my own way.
 I  long to react to every defiant answer from my child, or flippant remark from a loved one, with a gentle answer;
Even when they don’t.

Our family verse is
  “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1


  So why did I lose it this morning?  Why did I yell?  
I asked my son three times to brush his teeth. His reply,
"Not right now."
"You're  going to be late for school."
"Just one more minute." he said as he turned the tv louder.
"NO, NOW!"
I shut the TV off mid-show. "No more TV before school."
He stormed out of the room, brushed his teeth and left for the bus stop.

I felt horrible.
I searched my Bible for verses on anger,


“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:9
A FOOL!
 I don’t want to be a fool anymore.

Wait!   The verse says “resides in the lap of fools”,

There still may be hope for me after all.
The Hebrew word for “resides” is


  nuwach  -    which means  rest, settle down, remain.        

Anger does not need to remain. 


I visualized the anger falling from my lap crashing to the floor.
 I need to stand.
Stand up against foolishness. My foolishness.


So how do I stop acting like a fool?
Anger goes deep. Getting to its root is vital for change.


My friend, Cecil Murphy, describes it this way”


.
I get angry when my son does not act as I expect .
I get angry when no one listens to me.
Lord, I expect respect, is that too much to ask?
I continued my prayer with Psalm 139:23-24


“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.’ Psalm 139:23-24
God revealed my sin to me.  That morning my anger was seeded in unmet expectations. 
I expect my son to behave and respect my request every time. When he disobeyed, I resorted to screaming. Instead, I needed to be firm with my words and give consequences.  

I endured verbal wrath from my biological father. I don't want to parent like him.

I am glad God doesn't treat me like I treated my son that morning. 
When my son returned home, I asked for forgiveness. 
God and I are still working on my unbalanced expectations.
Next week I will go deeper into what He's teaching me.
What makes you angry?

Join the conversation.






Friday, August 19, 2016

WHEN ADHD MEETS DISCIPLINE

“STOP!” I screamed as I grew more frustrated.  “I can’t focus! How am I going to get this book done?"
 I have ADHD.   I did not realize I had it until my son was diagnosed with it 10 years ago.  
Finally, I had an answer to my fidgeting, lack of concentration, unfinished projects (Tweet this)
and my urge to blurt things out during a conversation because I'm afraid the words will escape me.
 I knew I needed focus and discipline to finish the book.

   What happens when ADHD meets discipline?  I liken my thoughts to a squirrel scrambling to collect nuts.  There are so many that he stops in his tracks.  “Which way do I go?”  “Which nut do I focus on first?  Which one is the biggest?"
  I am that squirrel, with  a hundred  thoughts flashing around in my brain.  What chapter to I focus on today?   What will touch the reader’s heart?  What Bible verses do I use?  LUNCH!

“Lord, I need your help!”  I knew God would not call me to write and then leave me scurrying about gathering up words that don’t make sense.
Image result for SQUIRREL My biggest problem is finishing a task.   I continued to pray.
 A friend of mine mentioned a Discipleship Counseling Course that he completed through Eternity College.  The course was free.   I like free.   I signed up and found myself with ten hours of homework each week.  Homework that would change my life forever.
 We had to complete the book, “You Can Change” by Tim Chester.  The book states to pick one thing you want God to help you change. I chose Procrastination.  Working through the book helped me figure out why I procrastinate.  It is not just ADHD.  I lost that excuse.
It is disobedience. I know God called me to write. 
I can’t blame the squirrel for everything.  I searched the scriptures. and the next verse became my marching orders.
   
  “Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it, according to your means.”
 2 Corinthians 8:11

I try to apply this verse daily, trusting God will keep His promise from the Scripture.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me Philippians 4:13

I made a schedule and follow it.  This keeps me focused.
Squirrels still invade my day, I have even chased a few but God gently reminds me to focus. 
Instead of chasing them I try to learn from them.
 They chase each other up and down trees, scurry across the yard, hang from the bird feeder, and gather nuts like it is a relay race.  Seems like a bunch of craziness to me. However, their work gets accomplished and they have fun while doing it.

I accept my ADHD and give God the glory for using this squirrel chaser to further His Kingdom.(tweet this)
Do you chase squirrels? What distracts you?
Join the conversation.

Friday, August 12, 2016

NEED PATIENCE NOW?

"I have no patience when it comes to you fooling around, I told you to clean this room," I said to my then five-year-old son as he sat on his bed.  
"I don't know where to put my books; I don't remember where anything goes," he said as his body shook and tears wet his favorite cowboy shirt.
The Holy Spirit reminded me that I am to teach and guide; not to expect my son to know the task after showing him one time. 
Now who was the foolish one? 
I apologized and prayed  THE PRAYER for both myself and my son.
Oh to have God's love sweep the cluttered rooms of my heart, (Tweet this)
filling each shelf with patience, kindness, and joy.
 There would be fewer tears and more understanding in my life.

I pray THE PRAYER daily. I have seen changes in those I bring before the throne.  I admit I was surprised at how soon it occurred.
Those I prayed for seem happier like a burden had lifted from them.  Thank you, Lord.
However, mild depression clouded my heart.  I did not pray daily for myself.  Silly me.  
The cloud lifted when I began to include myself in prayer. 
Let's continue to look at THE PRAYER

"Your love that is patient and kind; love that does not envy, boast, is not arrogant or rude. Love that does not insist on its own way, not irritable or resentful." 
 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (adaptation) 

All definitions are adapted from Blue Letter Bible  ESV version.
Patient- makrothymeō: to be long-spirited, longsuffering, endure, slow to anger, and slow to punish

Kind- chrēsteuomai: to show oneself useful, act benevolently.

Envy- zēloō:  to have the warmth of feeling for or against, affect, covet, be jealous over.

Boast- perpereuomai: a self-display, employing rhetorical embellishments in extolling one's self excessively, brag

Arrogant- physioō: to be puffed up, to bear one's self loftily, be proud

Rude- aschēmoneō: to act unbecomingly (not according to standard)

God's love toward us reveals itself in this prayer.  If you struggle with self-loathing, bitterness, anger or any sin, put your name in the prayer.

Your love that is patient and kind with Cherrilynn...not rude, irritable or resentful toward Cherrilynn.

Prayer helped me to love others as I accepted God's love for me. He gives me the power to love and be loved.




and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:5








Knowing that I have God's love in me gave me hope. 
 I can
 love the unlovable,
 forgive the unforgivable,
 and pray for what seems to be a hopeless situation.
The living Word of God has gone deep into my bitter soul and eradicated the hate and replaced it with love.  (Click to tweet)
I'm shedding my rude, arrogant behavior and replacing it with kindness and patience.
Is there someone you need to love more? Someone who has violated you, hurt you, lied to you or slandered you?"
Will you join me in aligning our hearts with the heart of God?
God wants us free from the burdens of bitterness, guilt, anger and pain.
Let's leave bitterness and anger behind.
We no longer need to be jealous when someone gets the job, car, or relationship we want.  We will be happy for them because we love them with the love of God.


This will happen when we pray THE PRAYER.

What do you struggle with?  
Join the conversation.

Friday, August 5, 2016

I PUT THE "PRO" IN PROCRASTINATE

I procrastinate.   I don't know why I put things off.  Maybe it is because I have a fear of failure or I am just plain lazy. 
Clutter overtook my workspace, a good excuse not to write.  
My son needs me, another good reason.
Excuses hindered the progress of my book.
I knew God called me to write it.
People invested time and money to help publish my work, so I had to do something about this procrastination.

I researched potential reasons for my inability to complete this task. 
Fear of failure
Perfectionism
Lack of Reward
The list goes on.

I could blame my behavior on the abuse from my father or other childhood events.  (My research  proves this theory)
The biggest thing I have learned about procrastination when it comes to obeying God,
Procrastination is a sin.  There, I said it.  Now, if I only could put off this guilty feeling.

After many days of prayer, self-examination, and study of the Scripture, procrastination began to release it's ugly grip on me and peace calmed the raging sea of guilt.

 I now claim this Bible verse every morning.
It is my marching orders from God.

Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it, according to your means. 2 Corinthians 8:11 NIV

God is good to teach us from the Word.

I think of the ten virgins with oil lamps.  Five had oil and five procrastinated and did not get oil.  They were called foolish and missed the life changing event. You can read the story HERE


The outcome of those who waited was tragic (Tweet This)


On the opposite end of the spectrum, King Solomon built a Temple for the Lord. It took 20 years. His patience and dedication are recorded in 1 Kings


Thus, all the work that King Solomon did on the house of the LORD was finished.  1 Kings 
7:51

Finished.  That is a word that most procrastinators long to hear.


I repented of my sin.  I remind myself daily that God loves me, He is patient with me, and gives me everything I need for life and godliness. 

 His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, 2 Peter 1:3 NIV.

God gives me the power to do it.  How can I fail with the Creator of the Universe on my side! 
If we move forward with God's purpose, we no longer need to procrastinate (tweet this)
 Do you procrastinate? 
Join in the conversation.