About Me

Friday, August 26, 2016

MAMA DIDN'T RAISE A FOOL


I LOST IT!   It’s gone.   I was so upset I refused to look for it.
However, If I did not find it, my family would be in dire need of emotional repair.

What did I lose?   What is this thing that could bring pain and destruction to my family?




My temper… My Self Control. ….my mind!

  I pray you will continue to read this knowing that I am a flawed follower of Christ.  
I crush the fruit of the spirit because I want my own way.
 I  long to react to every defiant answer from my child, or flippant remark from a loved one, with a gentle answer;
Even when they don’t.

Our family verse is
  “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1


  So why did I lose it this morning?  Why did I yell?  
I asked my son three times to brush his teeth. His reply,
"Not right now."
"You're  going to be late for school."
"Just one more minute." he said as he turned the tv louder.
"NO, NOW!"
I shut the TV off mid-show. "No more TV before school."
He stormed out of the room, brushed his teeth and left for the bus stop.

I felt horrible.
I searched my Bible for verses on anger,


“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:9
A FOOL!
 I don’t want to be a fool anymore.

Wait!   The verse says “resides in the lap of fools”,

There still may be hope for me after all.
The Hebrew word for “resides” is


  nuwach  -    which means  rest, settle down, remain.        

Anger does not need to remain. 


I visualized the anger falling from my lap crashing to the floor.
 I need to stand.
Stand up against foolishness. My foolishness.


So how do I stop acting like a fool?
Anger goes deep. Getting to its root is vital for change.


My friend, Cecil Murphy, describes it this way”


.
I get angry when my son does not act as I expect .
I get angry when no one listens to me.
Lord, I expect respect, is that too much to ask?
I continued my prayer with Psalm 139:23-24


“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.’ Psalm 139:23-24
God revealed my sin to me.  That morning my anger was seeded in unmet expectations. 
I expect my son to behave and respect my request every time. When he disobeyed, I resorted to screaming. Instead, I needed to be firm with my words and give consequences.  

I endured verbal wrath from my biological father. I don't want to parent like him.

I am glad God doesn't treat me like I treated my son that morning. 
When my son returned home, I asked for forgiveness. 
God and I are still working on my unbalanced expectations.
Next week I will go deeper into what He's teaching me.
What makes you angry?

Join the conversation.






10 comments:

Crickett said...

Great post, Cherrilynn! I have struggled with anger all my life, and when I lose it now, I always have to stop and ask, "What's going on?" When I'm stressed and weary, I don't handle situations well and I tend to respond in anger much quicker. (For instance, when Hobson (my cat) makes a mess!). Thanks for sharing this.

CHERRILYNN BISBANO said...

Crickett, Thank you for your honesty. I don't like getting angry, it is a good barometer that something else is going on. I love your cat's name. I appreciate your encouragement. Have a blessed weekend.

Lonnie said...

I am SO smiling. I pace thru my house at times repeating, " Be not eager to be angry for anger resides in the bosom of fools."

"Eager" describes me a little too well. And Psalm 139 becomes a part of my prayer, too. One in James, too.

I've struggled with anger the last couple years more than I ever have. I'd drive to work begging God to show me the roots and to help me overcome. I, too, knew something was going on. I believe part of it was fear. God has helped immensely but I am not letting go of the storehouse of Scriptures. The battle may rest, but I don't believe it's over. Thank you for your vulnerability. Boy, you hit the nail on the head more often than I can count. May God immerse you in His peace.

Beckie Lindsey said...

What a great post. You are so right about anger. Usually there's a root that we aren't identifying. It's good to pause and "visualize the anger falling off." It helps when I realize that anger is usually a secondary emotion. Hurt is most likely the source. I too get hurt and angry when I have unmet expectations. And I have to ask myself if my expectations are even reasonable.
Thanks Cherrilynn!

CHERRILYNN BISBANO said...

Lonnie, Thank you for your honesty, I praise God for His Spirit living in me or I might be in jail. What are the verses you pray from Psalm 139 and James? I would love to pray them too.

CHERRILYNN BISBANO said...

Beckie, Thank you for your encouragement. I still ask God to seek my heart. Pain, sorrow and disappointment go deep into my soul. My hope is in God alone. I appreciate you stopping by.

Greg and Heather said...

I completely understand this! I love that you took the time to apologize when your son came home. That kind of humility might be something he will remember when he messes up in the future.

Heather Bock
www.glimpsesofjesus.com

Lonnie said...

The Psalm 139 that you quoted: Create in me . . .James 4:20. The anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. My word for the year is humility . . . God directed I believe. I'm thinking pride is sometimes the root of my anger, too. Thanks again for your post.

CHERRILYNN BISBANO said...

Lonnie, Thank you for your comment. Pride is the root of mine too. I have said to myself, "If he/she would only act like I do or say what I would say," OUCH that is pride and comes from the pit of hell. I pray for God to help me be humble. Let's pray for one another.

CHERRILYNN BISBANO said...

Heather, Thank you for your encouragement. I desire for my son to see Jesus in me, unfortunately he see's the flesh rise all too often. Have a beautiful week.